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Your website is a source of enlightenment and its address caught his attention.

It is awful what is going on out there. be careful!

I left my husband, took the children and filed for divorce

How sad that the Internet with so many positive sides also holds a "darkside"

would have bet my life that cheating was the one thing he wasn't capable of

I am finally in a decent relationship but find it very hard to trust him

I purchased one of those little recorders

the spector/e-blaster software, It was well worth the purchase

Children can pick up on stress and unhappiness

He has never given me a reason not to trust him. Am I overreacting?

I'm dating him and hope that he will change

it is not always the fault of the one who does the the chatting
 

Your website is a source of enlightenment and its address caught his attention

It was Mother's Day and my husband did not opt to go out with the children and me for dinner. Instead, he stayed at home to mow the lawn; which he was still doing when we returned home. Unfortunately, he had not logged out of the IM, which I had never used. While attempting to access email, I find that I am getting instant messages from two women, neither of whom seem to know he was married. He swears that they are internet friends of his gay sister. He swore that the personal ad I found was not his and it was probably done by one of the guys at work to "set him up" you know a "revenge thing". He disavowed all knowledge of the porno chat rooms I detected when I looked in the cookies. He did, eventually, admit to this; but I am just "over reacting for millions of men in this country look at porn." Well, I am a mother of three - two grown and gone; however, the youngest came in our later years and is the joy of my life. He will not admit to any wrongdoing but says he doesn't want a divorce for he, too, loves his daughter. I have chosen to stay - so many years invested and our youngest daughter needs and adores him. Our elder girls have been supportive and are hoping we can resolve this problem. I am very pragmatic and I know that my first responsibility is to my children for they are grown and gone so quickly. However, it hurts so much to know that not only have you been cheated on, but your spouse has lied to you. The internet filters are now on high - he knows why; but we pretend it is to protect our daughter, which it is if it keeps her parents together and the smut out. Maybe it is one of those mid-life things. As I have trawled the personal ads, yet again this evening to see if he's back at it, I can't help but wonder how many of these men are married. I am waiting for the day I am healed enough to stop checking. I want to trust him AND my computer again.

Your website is a source of enlightenment and its address caught his attention. Thank you for posting our stories, for the words of encouragement, and for the links to ways we can resolve the problem. Alas, I now have two friends who have also found need of this site. It is amazing how something so good can be used for something so very evil. Again, thank you for letting me vent. To all, may your lives be healed whether victim or cheater.

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It is awful what is going on out there. be careful!...

Wow, what a great site, if only I had known about this, I may have been able to saved a 30 yr. marriage; I knew something was wrong when my husband was at computer late at night, clicking off when I came up, pretending to be playing games on computer, but chatting with Russian lady(24 yrs younger) he ended up marrying a month after our divorce, when he told me he had no one to be with. I guess tons of folks have felt that gut retching feeling when computers are brought into our homes. It is awful what is going on out there. be careful!

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I left my husband, took the children and filed for divorce...

I left my husband, took the children and filed for divorce when I found out how far his on-line romances were going. There were many times I was tired, bored, frustrated, angry and downright lonely through our 25 years together, but I tried to keep it together because we had something of value: our family. I was never the perfect woman, wife or mother, but then who is perfect? So many men and women are cheating via the internet. So many homes and families are being broken apart. So many children are suffering. It makes me wonder if there is a bond strong enough to stop a person from destroying a life and a history built over many years. We are all searching for the same thing: love and acceptance for the person we are. I find it highly suspect that we would be able to find that from a stranger through the internet rather than in our own homes; from the people we have lived with and loved, suffered with, endured tragedies together and laughed and made lasting memories with. But it must be so because it is happening all over the world. In my situation not only my children and myself suffered, but her children and family also suffered. How many lives were touched by this unfortunate incident that two people started in a chat room? Maybe a warning should pop up as soon as someone enters a chat room: Warning!!!! This could be hazardous to your life!

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How sad that the Internet with so many positive sides also holds a "darkside"...

How sad that the Internet with so many positive sides also holds a "darkside" that can lead many ignorant people into something that can overtake you like any other substance abuse. My husband and I remet after 38 years through the Internet (we used to date in high school when we were only 17 years old). However, our "new" relationship was a long distance one for a year before we got married, and unfortunately I didn't really know the man I was marrying. Talking on the phone or through the Internet does not give you the true personality of that person. The Internet affords one to embelish themselves, and many people tend to say things they wouldn't really say if "face to face". Our marriage is not a good one, and after being on my own for the past 18 years, I find that being married to my "Internet love" has been a big mistake, but one that I am trying to stay with. and still trying to save. We have many problems, and one of them is that my husband is continuing to write to some other ex-girlfriends on his computer at work. (He doesn't write to them from home). I found out he was doing this after finding several e-mail addresses in his wallet. How sad that I have become a "victim" of what brought he and I together! Be careful everyone out there. The computer is a Godsend, but can also be used for a lot of evil doings!

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would have bet my life that cheating was the one thing he wasn't capable of...

Well this is a hard story to write for the wounds are still very fresh . Don't think they will ever be healed .. I was married for 25 years to a man that I trusted with my life and would have bet my life that cheating was the one thing he wasn't capable of.. but here goes little did i know the last 2 years of our marriage he was sleeping with who I thought was my best friend she and i did everything together and so did her husband and mine.. she was at my house everyday we shared every meal together and our two youngest children were best friend.. if only i had know the truth.. friend she wasn't i had open heart surgery 3 years ago and guess who slept in my bed the same night ...when i found out last year i kicked him out took everything and set out to destroy him .. guess i did for 33 days after our divorce was final her passed away from a stroke...now she has the nerve to pretend she did nothing wrong and and that you are suppose to sleep with your friends and if i had not jumped the gun and divorced my husband so quickly that it was just a thing and would have ended.. without anyone getting hurt

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I am finally in a decent relationship but find it very hard to trust him...

my husband of 14 years left me and our twin sons for a woman he met over the internet. She was not the first he was to meet there were several others. I found quite a few emails of women he was to meet. I am finally in a decent relationship but find it very hard to trust him.

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I purchased one of those little recorders...

I never thought in a million years, my husband would even learn how to type. We purchased a computer and imagine I showed him how to use it. After 3 months he was getting real good at typing and I was proud of him. Then he started working nights. All day to himself. I started to wonder what was going on. He had been chatting with a woman in Oklahoma who was going through a divorce with 2 daughters. As time went on he would talk to her more and more. He started to tell me to get out of the room, he needed his space and privacy. He learned how to use voice which was how I caught him. I purchased one of those little recorders and before I would leave for work I would hide it and when I got home I realized that they were more than friends. I got him having cyber with her during the day. I was devastated! I confronted him and of course he denied it. Then I used some quotes that were said during their conversation. He had no choice but to admit it. He said it was not real. I know it is an emotional affair. He told her that I knew and said that they are just friends now. I don't know if that is true. The trust has gone. I went for therapy and am still going. He refuses to go because he still feels he did nothing wrong. We have been married 25 years. It is hard to give up a marriage after that long. I am trying to cope but it is very hard. I still record everyday and haven't heard anything so far but I have a gut feeling it is not over. I was glad to find this page. I now know I am not alone. Thank you John

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spector/e-blaster software. It was well worth the purchase...

Hi John, I wanted to thank you for starting this sight. I didn't have the money for a decoy or any other surveillance, but I did have the money for E-blaster.(I already posted my story on your site) Yours is the only site that I found that had any info about spector/e-blaster software. It was well worth the purchase. It only took about 3 weeks to catch my boyfriend (also the father of my 11 1/2 year old) in the chat rooms seeking an affair. We were already in counseling because of a previous affair he had had (not internet related). It's amazing how my anxiety level has gone down since I broke it off (only 3 days ago). I thought I was only making it up in my head. Thanks again for the site

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Children can pick up on stress and unhappiness...

I have two children, that I think about every-day; and the example that their father and I are setting for them. Their father, has had many affairs over the years. These children have seen me sit at home with them as the most unhappy person in the world. Though his affairs have now ended, mine (online) have just begun. I feel no guilt about what I am doing or will do in the future. I have been loyal to my children and to a husband, that did not deserve it. The example that we both have set with on type of affair or the other, are not good ones; but neither is the example of being forced to endure a marriage, for the sake of children. Children can pick up on stress and unhappiness. So, how can one be worse than the other?

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He has never given me a reason not to trust him. Am I overreacting?

My husband and I have been together for two and a half years. We really don't
seem to have any major problems, and I know I'm an insecure person at times,
but we recently got into the whole internet thing and I found out that he's been talking to a woman online. I asked him about it and he says he won't do it
anymore. He also says that it wasn't anything to worry about. He has never given me a reason not to trust him. Am I overreacting? Is the whole internet thing something I should be concerned about? I love him and we have a great
relationship. I do not want this to be an issue between us. Am I nuts?

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I'm dating him and hope that he will change...

My story was the same as others in this website. But the man I know is kind of different; he is "the man of God" as some people would call an ordained minister sometime. I did not know he have an affair with a married woman, from his own church, left his family for her. And then she dumps him after he accompanied by his wife and children, confessed his sin in front of his congregation of many peoples. I know of these after I find out his many visits to other women from Florida, Georgia and called me to checkup on his 20 years old son for him. Well, after so many times he lied and jumped from one woman bed to the others, he blamed on Satan and all... for his sins. I'm dating him and hope that he will change. Guest what? He met a woman 5-6 hours away, and he told me it wasn't from the chat line!!! I admitted I am naïve, but I wasn't borne yesterday! I am very sad that if he believe in God and preached God words, why he done what he did? Oh well, now I am trying to get over this and hope my feeling for those ministers changed. Even I hate him but I am praying each night that he will change his lifestyle to save his soul! But, you will never know what's on their mind, huh? And maybe this is my own medicine to heal my heart.

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it is not always the fault of the one who does the the chatting...

If your wife or husband has to spend a lot of time on the net, then what is wrong in their home environment. If the lines of communication are open at home.. then the majority of these instances would not happen. Yes I met my husband on the net in a chat room, yes he was married at the time - I was divorced. His home life was bad, (both parties faults). Through his first marriage, and our communication skills, I or he would know something was wrong if either of us were spending heaps of time on the computer. My recommendation is that you should talk to your partner - if you can't then that is the first serious issue. Wake up and smell the roses and get a life - it is not always the fault of the one who does the the chatting and it is never ONE reason alone that there are problems. it is always an accumulation of things. - TALK NOW before it's too late.

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Stories
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Cheaters